Do you know anyone that always seems to have things going their way in big and little ways? They may have the ideal career, relationships and financial situation. They always find parking, their flights always seem to be on time etc? Can you think of anyone that the opposite is true? Nothing seems to go their way? They are always late, stuck in traffic, getting parking tickets, getting laid off, etc? Is it just that one of these people is extremely blessed and the other not quite so lucky? Or could this apparent imbalance between their experiences be based on their expectations? The definition of expectation is a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future. Whatever one expects, with confidence, becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
When manifesting anything, be it big like the love of your life or small like the perfect parking spot, it’s not enough to have a desire, we need to have the expectation that we will receive what we want in order to make it happen. In the same way, when we are expecting an undesired state, we will likely manifest that state.
If you want something, but doubt you will get it, you most likely won’t. You can’t just tell yourself that you are expecting it. You have to really believe it. Remember that an expectation is a strong belief, not just a strong desire, but an actual belief. There is a distinct difference between a wish or desire and an expectation. Our expectations strongly influence our attitude about ourselves, others and that which we desire to manifest. When our attitude is positive, we will manifest positive results. The reverse is true when we come from a negative mindset. If our expectations influence our attitudes, our attitudes can just as strongly influence our expectations. The beauty about this is that we can consciously choose our attitudes.
Dr. Robert Rosenthal of UCRiverside, discusses a study in his book “Pygmalion in the Classroom” where teachers where told that a student or the entire class they were teaching were exceptionally bright and capable of extremely high levels of academic success. The truth was that these students where actually randomly chosen from the school population. The result, however, was that if the teacher expected the student or group to do much better than average, they did. This is a powerful example of how our expectations of others, and our attitudes towards them as a result of those expectations, can strongly affect the outcome.
You can improve the quality of your expectations by choosing to focus on what you want instead of dwelling on thoughts and worries about what you don’t want. Change your limiting thoughts from “I can’t” to “I can”. Look for the best in everyone and every situation instead of dwelling on what went wrong or what you don’t like. When something doesn’t go your way, find the lesson in it. Look for what the take away is that can produce more positive results in the future. Ask yourself if on any level, you were expecting the undesired result you got.
Choosing different and more positive attitudes about your situations will begin to influence your expectations over time. Although these shifts are unlikely to happen overnight, if you continue to practice choosing better attitudes, you will develop better expectations around all of the circumstance in your life and see better results. You will start manifesting what you do want and stop creating what you don’t desire. As you continue to do this and you see the results, you will find that your expectations shift naturally as they are continually being reinforced.
© Copyright 2015 Vanessa Naja/Holistic Moving