Every Thursday for the last 5 weeks, I record and post my VLOG. Today, that’s not happening because I have laryngitis and that’s definitely not a good video look (or sound to be more accurate). I was bummed out when I woke up to another day of scratchy voice because I really like to stick to my regular habits and routines and that’s obviously not happening today. This does give me a good opportunity to get back to writing which I’ve neglected for a while.
Spring is only a few weeks away and it’s the perfect season for releasing what’s no longer serving us. Many people do this in the form of a major spring cleaning, getting rid of old items they no longer use or need. Others do it in the form of a spring cleanse. Releasing from their physical bodies, toxins that have built up since they’re last cleanse. Both of these are really great spring rituals. Today I’m talking about another clearing that’s perfectly suited for spring, and that is a spring cleaning of your old limiting beliefs that no longer serve you.
Before I get into details, I want to talk about why it’s so important to release limiting beliefs and how to recognize them. Beliefs dictate our experience. They’re programmed into us in early life, usually before the age of 5, by our experiences and the meanings we made of those experiences at that time.
The “meanings” we made of those experiences are important because that’s a major part of what formed our beliefs. An example from my life is, my parents divorce when I was 4. All of a sudden I only saw my dad every other weekend. The meanings I made: My dad abandoned me. He doesn’t love me. There must be something wrong with me. I must be unlovable. Was this actually true? Hell no!!! My dad totally loves me, was devastated by the divorce and to this day is really sad we didn’t get to spend anywhere close to the amount of time that he would’ve liked to spend with me. However as a 4 year old, who only noticed that dad was no longer around, I made a completely different meaning of my parents divorce and the belief that resulted affected my relationships for years, before I went back and revised the meaning and transformed the belief.
What we believe has an enormous effect on what we experience. If for example you have the experience that your partner is more distant than usual, does that mean he doesn’t care about you and you’re not good enough (which so many of us make it mean) or could it be that he’s battling with some of his own internal demons and limiting beliefs and it actually has nothing to do with us at all? It’s usually the later but we tend to make it mean the former.
If we’re feeling jealous of someone, it might be we’re making the meaning that there’s not enough to go around and if they have something, I can’t have it or they’ll take something from me. Could that just be us repeating a meaning we made in early childhood when a younger sibling was born and our parents were super tired because having small children is exhausting? As a result they may have given us less attention than we were used to as they had to split that attention among several children. We made it mean that there’s only so much to go around and if someone else gets it, we can’t have it. This can be the cause of so much long term strife among siblings. What might be a more empowering meaning to make of this?
If you want to know what you believe, look at what you’re experiencing. If you’re repeatedly having experiences you don’t like, ask yourself what belief they might be reflecting? What meanings are you making of those experiences and are those meanings accurate? What would be a more empowering meaning which reflects a more empowering belief?
When I realized many of my relationship issues stemmed from the belief I formed from the meaning I made about my parents divorce, I was able to slowly transform it into something more empowering. The truth is my dad loves me and I’m perfectly lovable. When this changed for me, all of my relationships changed and I was able to create an amazing romantic partnership with an incredible man. Sometimes remnants of the old belief still make an appearance. I recognize it right away when I’m having an unpleasant experience in my relationship. I take a step back and look at it from a more objective standpoint. As soon as I realize what I’m doing and I change the meaning of what’s happening, I’m able to connect much more deeply to those around me and I feel much better.
What beliefs are you ready to release this spring? Please comment below.
If you’re interested in receiving some help around belief transformation, drop me a note and we can talk about what it might look like to work together to make that happen for you.